Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Test for Token #Democrats

Can't remember what the party actually stands for?Are you someone who wears the T-shirt, but the elevator doesn't make it all the way to the top?  Do you suffer from Prolonged Token Democrat Displacement Disorder (PTDDD)? Take the test and see?

1. Which of these statements is TOTALLY FALSE?

a. Obama is God
b. Obama is God AND he will save the world.
c. Walking on water is a sign of miraculous intervention of some sort and Obama had something to do with it.
d. Obama isn't necessarily divine.

2. If a candidate selects "one from every demographic" to work on his or her campaign and features them in the campaign material photos and websites. The candidate can best be described as?

a. A typical democratic contender
b. A limousine liberal
c. A progressive democrat
d. The best candidate for the elected position regardless of any other thing.

3. The candidate in the previous question hasn't chosen a platform yet; what he is for, or what he for or is against. His decision to create a swatch card of "diverse" faces BEFORE deciding what his stated goals and objectives are would be described as.

a. Asinine and a disgrace
b. Good timing
c. Potential ammunition for the right
d. Good strategy

4. The candidate in question two, knows his position on abortion but as a catholic can't bring himself to make that clear during the primary for fear of losing the female vote. He should..?

a. Stick to his guns.
b. Run and hide
c. Duck dodge and wave
d. Change his position immediately

5. Your friends are going to an event to lambaste a senator for his position on privatizing prisons. But, you find out that the senator is actually not going to be at the event. Your best move is to what?

a. Get drunk
b. Say nothing
c. Get drunk say nothing, go anyway
d. Get drunk, say nothing, go anyway, tell everyone the senator is in the building, you just saw him in the window.

6. You get to an event and discover you have the wrong T-shirt on. You should immediately do what?

a. Get drunk
b. Say nothing
c. Get drunk say nothing, go anyway
d. Get drunk, say nothing, go anyway, get the bumper stickers out of your car and sell them.

7. You are at an event screaming loudly with compatriots. But soon into the protest you discover a promotions booth for the very company you are protesting against offering snacks for free with a smile. In essence you find the entire event is a hoax designed to bring the media to the benefit of the company, with you as a foolish pawn. You should do what?

a. Get drunk
b. Say nothing
c. Get drunk say nothing, go anyway
d. Get drunk, say nothing, go anyway, tell everyone the senator is in the building, you just saw him in the window.

8. You discover the candidate you are working for is actually plant from the republican party, and he will likely change party affiliation from D to R, soon after taking office. What should you do? (Best answer)

a. Get drunk
b. Say nothing
c. Get drunk say nothing, clap and chant slogans
d. Get drunk, say nothing, clap, continue to sell bumper stickers, and make calls to garner support and donations.

9. You discover that there is a massive flaw in the voting machines in your county, or your state. Come 2012 there is a very real possibility the election will be stolen using this flaw. You should do what? (Best Answer)

a. Continue along as if nothing's the matter in fish-like, zombified willful ignorance
b. When someone tries to explain it to you, shake your head repeatedly saying "wha..? wha...? I don't get it? It must not be true otherwise I would have heard about it by now."
c. Go to another fund raiser. Drink. Squeal with laughter at the slightest joke to reduce the tension.
d. All of the above.

10. If someone shows you proof elections are being stolen in Florida you should do what?

a. Blacklist them, report them to the DNC. Call DWS and Alan Grayson to tell them there is a dissenter.
b. Get on Facebook and talk about how wonderful it was seeing Alan Grayson in person.
c. Put on fishnet stockings, and nothing else, walk around your house humming U2, yell at the pool guy for not doing his job. Kick the poodle for peeing on the carpet.
d. All of the above.

11. If you are going to an event to "protect women's rights" and you hear all elections have been cancelled with martial law now in place, your emotional reaction would be best described as which?

a. Horrified that martial law was installed.
b. Infuriated that not only women's rights, but ALL rights are being stomped out
c. Terrified that physical danger, genocide, concentration camps for dissenters may result
d. Angry that your event is now cancelled.

12. You are corralled into pens with your friends who are all part of your protest group. Proctors begin shooting GPS tags into the flesh of all detainees, using the very devices animal control uses to tag stray dogs. A week goes by without sleep. You find one day all of you are being slowly ushered to a room containing an industrial cheese grater. You suspect you will be directed to jump into it after emptying your pockets. As this horrific process unfolds you notice that gay detainees are being segregated to be thrown into a different cheese grater. Your move here is to...?

a. Try to escape immediately
b. Attempt to overpower your guards and stage a revolt!
c. Attempt to contact outside help
d. Begin a petition to demand equal treatment of all detainees.

13. The Stanley Milgram Experiment was which? (Best answer)

a. An experiment designed to show the evil of blindly following orders.
b. A creative use of buzzers
c. Largely thought to be immoral due to the psychological trauma of unknowing test subjects
d. Horribly filmed and acted by homophobic, misogynist, racist white men with no sense of color or style.

14. You discover a woman organizing your protest is actually Rick Santorum in drag. The very definition of "wolf in sheep's clothing!" What do you do? (BEST ANSWER)

a. Nothing. As long as he parties like the rest of us and says the right things, who cares.
b. Nothing. Don't want to go against the crowd
c. Convince myself despite all evidence that it isn't happening.
d. All of the above.

15. You discover Rachel Maddow has a reoccurring habit of avoiding actual news while focusing on the juicy tidbits spun off by the republican spin machine: non issues designed to inflame the masses while corralling them away from real news and real issues; more to the relief of corporate masters. Your best response would be to what?

a. Call the show and say something
b. Tell my friends in my protest group
c. Write an OpEd piece
d. Say nothing, do nothing; as others might notice I am not "of the body".

16. You're given a choice of attending a protest here, choose one.

a. The "Humans Against Genocide" Protest (limp press coverage)
b. The "Don't Put Us In the Goddamn Cheese Grater!" Protest (meek, surviving press coverage only)
c. The "Stop Rigging Our Elections" protest ( not a peep of press coverage, not one bug-tick, anywhere).
d. Protest slamming a city councilman for using the words 'All of Y'all' in an anti-union speech (Massive press coverage by NYT, CNN, Rachel Maddow, We Got Ed etc.).

17. Who are these remarks referring to? "My brother not need be idealized in death nor enlarged in what he was in life. He was a good and decent man who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it." (Your best answer)

a. Gandhi
b. RFK
c. MLK
d. Someone who likely wouldn't call for a first strike on Iran on behalf of Israel, and therefor not a real democrat.

18. If someone sends you a post of Facebook asking you to do something for the cause. Your move is usually what?

a. Like the post, then do as asked if I believe in the cause.
b. Like the post then do as asked if there is no money in it and I believe in the cause.
c. Like the post but then ask for more information to see if I am doing the right thing.
d. Like the post only, even if I am totally committed to the cause. Liking the post conveys the impression of participation even though I don't plan on participating. In fact, it has gotten so bad, I can barely summon the energy to "like"  post I may agree with. I sort of just fool myself into believe even in my weak-assed silent agreement with the post I am "with the movement" and "doing something." And like, I know this is the wrong way to think, and all, but another part of me doesn't really give a shit. And I sort of laugh at everyone else who "actually participates" even if only to "like" the post they have no intention to comply with. And even though the entire country is going to corporate owned hell in a hand-basket, I'm sort of in a daze like a dead fish on a dock about it. I could give a fuck. I only pretend to be "for democracy" and it's amusing to me that I feel that way. Hey? Did you see Idol last night?

19. Rachel Maddow would have to tell you to do what, before you stopped following her.

a. Change your hair color.
b. Change your clothes on a downtown bus
c. Put your underwear on over your pants
d. None of these. You would instantly do whatever she asked.

20. If offered the chance to buy a book telling you the republican game-plan for Florida throughout the next four to eight years, you would do what?

a. Buy it by downloading the link here from Amazon
b. Claim to have bought it after reading only the first few pages.
c. Read the first few pages off the web since they are free
d. I wouldn't buy it. As a democrat I find it abhorrent to buy the work of a fellow democrat for reasons I can't explain. Aside from which being a democrat is a recreational outlet. It doesn't actually mean anything, silly.

Please keep coming back to the blog by clicking this link for answers to the quiz and your individualized test results throughout the day!

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