Monday, February 6, 2012

Scumbag Distress Bill

(hello! Obvious parody and satire!)

Florida Senate President Mike Haridopolos issued a statement this morning that he is co-sponsoring a bill to help needy corporate scumbags take over the state.

Called the "Scumbag Distress Iniative" SB 666 would have taxpayers contributing to an account directly. This fund then would enable electronic withdrawls from needy corporate scum who happen to be contributors to "worthy" republican state legislators such as Dean Cannon, Don Gaetz and others who are "down with the program" of harming citizens toward the enrichment of the few.

The projects would be trumped-up, made up, puppies and unicorns to the public lies, which enrich those scumbags who participate. New prisons, new waterparks inside nature preserves, new drug testing companies, and so on. Whatever you got.

Meeting only token resistance from other senators this morning, it seems as though the Scumbag Distress Initiative may pass before moving on to the state house.

"We need to help worthy corporate scumbags. So they can provide the (using air quotes here) cost savings to us, the taxpayers, as well as (air quotes again, and the smile) jobs desperately needed in these tough economic times," said Senator Haridopolos.....

(What the truth would look like in a news story)

Read more truth here!

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