Sunday, November 11, 2012

The Election-Destroying UFO of Tampa Bay

Let's pretend there was a little traitorous scum, who should be hanged for treason, (WSBHFT) and this man is responsible for rigging national elections over and over again for money. Big-time money.

And this little man is part of a cabal that has even murdered people who threatened to testify, perhaps even a supervisor of elections or two who weren't down with the plan to hack the highest offices in the land; officials maybe, who began putting two and two together on that whole deal. I mean, these are nasty, mean people, who have toppled other governments, taught people how to torture, murder, taught tin pot banana republic generalisimos how to plant bombs to make them look like revolutionaries did it, the whole shebang.

Now, say this piece of trash (WSBHFT) is working in conjunction with several supervisors of elections across the country who are "on the take" so to speak during (just for shits and giggles) the 2012 election.

But, a problem crops up, see? Because the margin between their candidate and the incumbent president is at or greater than five percent from the get go. And as the day wears on across the western states on counting day, it becomes obvious this thing is getting way out of reach for their guy. If the results began to swap a 180 now it would look bad, real bad. And because this piece of filth (WSBHFT) got away with this gambit once, everyone is watching to make sure he doesn't get away with it again.

I mean, even the nasty little story put out there on the partisan network, (you know the one, paid for by the Chinese government trying to destroy this country from the inside?) that "when OUR people get off work you're going to see a whole lot more republican votes" etc. etc? I mean, even that lame ass story won't fly anymore, even on republicans because the beating their guy is getting, is just too comprehensive. Even they will know it's a rig.

So, what happens? Well, someone gives the order; "shut it down. Shut it down now. Live to fight another day".

But that's sort of like telling two love birds to stop once they've...well, you get the idea. Certain things have gone too far, get my drift?

So, what happens next?

"Burn the evidence!"

But how do you do that?

Well, by the same method you would try to lose a file that is active in your word processing program as you are typing it: you might want to shut the power off, or pull the plug from the wall outlet. Whatever you are working on, is erased. And then, you start all over again.

Armed with a hypothesis, we here at Rick Scott Watch, the entire editorial department slammed down our shiny phones and marched right over to the board room for a pow-wow. We mashed on some cigars with our teeth, guzzled gallons of coffee, gathered around a computer screen and typed in these words to the google search bar. "Power-outage+supervisor of elections office+2012".

And in listing after listing, these counties continued cropping up 1.) Hillsborough 2.) Pinellas 3.) Broward 4.) Miami Dade.


Then we took off the '2012' and got nearly the same result. Far and away the number one county is Hillsborough, Florida. Yes, the others are in Florida, all of them. You have to go pages and pages until you get to the first county outside Florida.


The cool thing about pulling the plug from a wall socket is this: there's no malicious code to hack, no electronic footprints to worry about. And those pesky vote totals that don't make sense now that we've tried to move back into the real world again, why, they're gone too.

Another neat thing about this? There's no machine company to blame, either. Because people are getting wise to that. You press people for an answer as to which machine went bad, and why did it go bad and who was the last guy to use that machine, and pretty soon you put someone in a jam: i.e. either your shitty machines are so-puke shitty I wouldn't order my dog to piss on them they are so useless, or, you've got people working in this office rigging elections.

And the end result of that titration is a lawsuit.

Not with a simple broad daylight, no one is at fault power outage. Like the one they had in Hillsborough on election day. "You mean the day before the election": (this is you asking here)


"You mean the day after the election?" (this is you again, and you're really working on my nerves.)

No, sweetness, I mean DAY OF election, there was a broad daylight power outage in Tampa, they say 600 homes near the Falkenburg Road annex of the Supervisor of Elections, see? Yeah. And the neat part was it only effected the back of the building, back where they were doing the counting, see? Not the front, where people come in and vote and whatnot, or drop off their ballots, or get lied to and shit.

Oh, and get this: there was another power outage in Pinellas County that knocked out something called a "gateway device" (for all we know this is a socket or a phone jack) during the August primary too, sweetness. And that power outage ONLY went after the supervisor of elections offices. No one else got hit. Not the building less than 100 yards away. Not the other county offices, right down the street on the other side of the office park.

You believe that?

I haven't even looked into the Palm Beach and Miami Dade situations yet and I will. But let me say one more thing about the Tampa Bay area, while I am slamming on them again.

To believe officials living in and around Tampa - even the "we need to get to the bottom of all this" mental midget denialist, blue gingham wearing demo's - all of this is random, and accidental, see? Sweetness?

Defying the obvious then, the new prosaic explanation must in fact be a giant UFO, that just sort of, roosts on Tampa Bay. And the giant UFO being just one of them things, has an affinity to attack only on certain days; those being election days.

Now I plan to have a chat with officials in Hillsborough and Pinellas sometime again real soon. And when I do I am going to bring my tinfoil hat, and show them how to make one for themselves. Just in case they want to prevent the big bad UFO from scrambling their brains when it finally tires of attacking only the elections offices, ON ELECTION DAY.

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